Bridget’s Pill
So the Catholic Church is finally considering permitting contraception, but only within a married couple where one of the partners is HIV positive. In a couple of centuries the Church will hopefully get round to apologising for having contributed to the deaths of millions of people from HIV around the world with its ban on contraception, but in the meantime, I chanced upon another charming ditty from Christy Moore. It is called “Bridget’s Pill” but I cannot figure out the words to the chorus. The remaining words, however, are below:
Now Bridget O’Reilly was a fine strapping girl,
Her skin was like ivory her teeth were like pearls
All the boys chased her in vain ’till one day,
She went and got married to Barry O’Shay.[chorus]
And after nine months, to their pride and joy,
Along came a baby, a fine strapping boy,
After three years they’d two boys and a girl,
And to clothe them and feed them made Bridgette’s heard whirl.[chorus]
So she went to the priest, in great desperation,
Becuase of this process of constant gestation,
Say father this business is making me ill,
Would it be a sin if I went on the pill?[chorus]
Well the priest heard her story, and when he had heard it,
To higher authority perlplexed he reverted,
All the bishops they we baffled, the cardinals too,
No one could tell Bridgette of what she should do.[chorus]
Two years they debated the holy profundity,
Of what should be done about Bridgette’s fecundity,
But by now her family amounted to five,
She scarcely was able to keep them alive.[chorus]
Well they gave due attention to points theological,
To points philosophic and physiological,
Till in desperation the Pope said O sod,
There’s only one thing to do I’ll have to ask God.[chorus]
So he sends him a letter in the three penny post,
And painful not paid addressed ‘Holy Ghost’,
Sayin’ send me your answer in double quick time,
You can get me at home just ring Vat’ 69.[chorus]
Oh well the answer it came and the Pope he announced it,
Oral contraception he strongly denounced it,
Unethical means to prevent procreation,
Were banned under pains of eternal damnation.[chorus]
And now the church is in ferment and great trepidation,
As such thoughts they might spread to the whole congregation,
They recorded an LP to prevent the schism,
‘tween the Pope and the hierarchy called I got rythm.[chorus]
Rigor in Science by Jorge Luis Borges
Red Herring magazine begins an article on Google Maps this week with a wonderful reference to the short story “Rigor in Science” by Jorge Luis Borges. The story is so short it is worth quoting in its entirety:
“… In that Empire, the Art of Cartography reached such Perfection that the map of one Province alone took up the whole of a City, and the map of the empire, the whole of a Province. In time, those Unconscionable Maps did not satisfy, and the Colleges of Cartographers set up a Map of the Empire which had the size of the Empire itself and coincided with it point by point. Less Addicted to the Study of Cartography, Succeeding Generations understood that this Widespread Map was Useless and not without Impiety they abandoned it to the Inclemencies of the Sun and of the Winters. In the deserts of the West some mangled Ruins of the Map lasted on, inhabited by animals and Beggars; in the whole Country there are no other relics of the Disciplines of Geography.”
And there is an MP3 audio clip of Borges reading the story in Spanish.
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